Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
Few women admit their age; few men act it.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
'I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.'
'Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.'
'My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.'
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
