miss right

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

wife

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

eating

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

photo

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

password

I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

husband

I have received hundreds of replies to my ad for a husband. They all say the same thing - "Take mine."

feet

Q: Why are women's feet so small? 
A: So they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.